Resident Evil 5 Rhyme Review

Written by Sith Lord Jim Wednesday, 25 March 2009 13:03

Regarding Resident Evil 5 I was hesitant

Harboring feelings some would call malevolent

It's definitely not GOTY I cried!

Yet loving it is something I tried

Now I find myself quite addicted

And most everything I said contradicted

You play as the very masculine Chris Redfield

Whose muscles are not easily concealed

Alongside Sheva Alomar he goes after some guy

In the process a lot of zombies do die

Into old foes and friends they do bump

Luckily, over story, game-play does trump

With this game I do have a few qualms

First is its inability to create sweaty palms

It's possibly due to the presence of a partner

But the dilution of atmosphere is a disaster

Things sometimes get hectic and a tad tense

But truly scary moments are something this can't dispense

Second is the controls with which I had trouble

The horrible ally a.i. simply made that double

You have to stop to reload, shoot, or knife

Quite often at first that cost me my life

I did get used to it eventually

But in a fast paced game these controls shouldn't be

Co-op is clearly what this game is designed for

Against A.I. partners this dumb there should be a law

In your way is where she will stand

"I need ammo" is what she will demand

As she peppers the shoes of your foes

Perhaps mistaking heads for toes

With lots of things to discover and unlock

This game will take a while to clock

Plus there is Mercenaries mode with zombies to slay

And then the multiplayer modes on their way

It sports a very surprising amount re-playability

And At least for me also some disc-tray-stay-ability.*

Out of a 100 I give this a 92

And this question I do pose to you

How can you say no to killing zombies with a friend?

At the very least this game you should lend

It won't be everyone's cup of tea

But despite it's faults it's the beverage of choice for me.

* Jim McIntyre reserves the right to make up words and use them in any and all rhyme reviews because he believes he is gangster bitches.

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